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Today's my anniversary?: Some thoughts on marriage... - Jasmine Becket-Griffith — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Jasmine Becket-Griffith

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Today's my anniversary?: Some thoughts on marriage... [Dec. 29th, 2002|03:52 pm]
Jasmine Becket-Griffith
[mood |nostalgicnostalgic]
[music |"The Perfect Drug" Nine Inch Nails - Lost Highway Soundtrack]

Apparently, today is my wedding anniversary. It just sneaked up on me. Matt and I don't really celebrate our wedding anniversary at all. We celebrate our "real" anniversary which is on March 2nd.

So - for those of you who don't know, here is the story of how we met:

I was 17 years old, and I'd never had a boyfriend. I didn't get along with other people very well (especially other people at my school) and nobody had ever asked me on a date. Being a complete and utter nerd, I spent a great deal of time on the internet. So, one day, I got an AOL Instant Message from "Rebellion". I generally never responded to random IMs from strangers, but this time I did. Of course, it was Matt - having noticed that our profiles contained very similar interests. He was a vegetarian, he liked the same movies and music I liked, he had a similar world view - it seemed like a perfect match. We talked a lot on IMs and chatrooms for a long time - I didn't ever want it to go any further than that since I was a very shy girl and Matt was 6 years older than me (doesn't seem like a lot now, but when you're in high scool it seems like a big difference!). Eventually he convinced me to call him up and say goodnight to him. I called, said "Good Night" and hung up. Apparently he had caller ID and that is how he captured my phone number. He called me back and we spoke on the phone for almost 13 hours! After many, many more phone conversations he convinced me to meet him (he lived in Grandview, MO so he luckily wasn't too far away). We were both excited to see David Lynch's "Lost Highway" so we planned to see it together.

My dad drove me to the mall where we were scheduled to meet. On the way he said to me, "Now where did you say you are going?" and I said "I'm going to see a movie with my friend Matt", to which he replied thoughtfully, "Hmmm, I didn't know you had any friends". Haha.

We had never even shared pictures of each other - I honestly did not care at all what he looked like since we had so much in common and had such great conversations. I was already under the impression I'd probably spend the rest of my life with him. We met at a bookstore in the mall - I was very nervous and kept dropping books around (I do strange things when I am nervous). Then Matt came up to me and smiled - he had on a Homer Simpson shirt. I blurted out something about how I thought he was nice looking, hehe. We've been together ever since! (We both loved Lost Highway by the way).

This March we will have been together for 6 years. We moved in together when I was 18, and then when I was 19 we got married. I really didn't care very much if we were married or not, since I knew that we were going to be together either way. But, we realized, if we were to get married we could get presents and stuff! We also realized that a honeymoon is a very good excuse for a vacation. We got married by a judge in Kansas City, Kansas (Missouri has some very odd notions about marriages needing a religious element to be valid, so we had to go across the border), and then we had a fantastic week-long honeymoon in Disneyland, California.

I don't really make a big deal out of my wedding anniversary because honestly my marriage isn't all that important to me. NOTE: my lifelong relationship with Matt is EXTREMELY important to me. The "marriage" part is more for the sake of other people than for Matt or myself. Being married is simply a matter of convenience in many respects. It is far easier as a "married" couple to share things like tax returns, health insurance, apartment leases, mortgages, etc. It's any easy way of explaining to more conservative relatives that we don't need to sleep in separate rooms.

I must have a very different opinion on marriage than a lot of people. My little sister Amber is getting married in may - and she's been planning her wedding for quite some time now. I think that it's a lot of fun seeing her plan her wedding and helping her with things like that. I just never had any sort of interest in it myself for my own wedding. I wonder why?

Ah, there's nothing like spending your wedding anniversary alone on your computer typing how you don't care very much about marriage, lol!

March 2nd though - we celebrate our "real" anniversary. The one I remember, the one that counts. We generally go eat at the restaurant we went to on our first date, but it closed this year. Besides, if we do get a March move-in date we'll probably be in Florida by then. Golly gee, we might have to go to the California Grill instead of TGI Fridays - wouldn't that be a bother? Lol.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: smallgirl
2002-12-29 05:23 pm (UTC)
well happy wedding anniversary anyways. so now do people keep asking when your going to have kids? if i knew how much i was going to hear that question i would have called off the wedding. we basically got married for the cool vacation to. i highly recommend vegas if youve never been. i never wanted to leave.
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[User Picture]From: jasminetoad
2002-12-29 06:06 pm (UTC)
Thanks =)

Lol, last night my dad and my sister (both who've been to and love Vegas) spent about an hour showing me different Vegas hotels and casinos and restaurants online (I've never been!). I'd love to go
there - Matt really likes magic and he'd like to see the cool shows there. Now that I'm moving to Florida I won't have to waste my vacations going there, lol.

Yeah - there's been a lot of "kids" talk since we got married. A lot of people seemed to be under the impression that the reason we got married in the first place was that I was pregnant or something (?). I'm really not interested in having children. I certainly don't think that pressure from other people would ever convince me to be either!!!
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[User Picture]From: foxmagic
2002-12-29 08:36 pm (UTC)
I like your stories! Congratulations on your happily-ever-after. :-) It gives me hope that someday I'll find the right gal for me!

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From: (Anonymous)
2003-01-01 12:56 pm (UTC)

marital bliss

Congratulations! It's good to know that online hookups actually work out despite what a lot of people have told me. I met my partner in crime online also. By accident, in a star trek chatroom. It still boggles my mind how it all worked out for the best since the last time I checked that same chatroom, it was full of idiot kids who should have been in bed already. Lucky for you, you guys weren't that far away from each other.Anyway, we've been together now for about 5 years. (This is actually my first post. I wasn't aware that non-livejournal users can also reply.)Peace out!!!----ArtChickNYC
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