JASMINE: AWESOME! I'll find a tape to record it. ::rummaging
through pile upon pile of Simpsons tapes and other VHS
FOX NETWORK: Now, for Futurama, then King of the Hill, and
then a NEW Simpsons!
JASMINE: Damn it, my tapes must be in the wrong boxes... this
is sure taking me a lot of TIME and EFFORT here,
trying to set up the tape to catch the NEW Simpsons...
FOX NETWORK: Don't go away - we have a BRAND NEW SIMPSONS
coming up in 30 minutes.
JASMINE: OK, now I will sit through the mildly-amusing-but-
still-a-little-too-bland-and-preachy 30 minutes that
constitutes "King of the Hill."
FOX NETWORK: Hey Jasmine, it's gonna be a NEW EPISODE. (or
something like that).
JASMINE: ::still watching the "King of the Hill" re-run:: "I'm
laughing, but it's a laugh of impatience" (quoting
Homer from episod AABF19)
FOX NETWORK: The NEW episode is coming up next...
JASMINE: OK, got my finger on the record button.
FOX NETWORK: And now... a NEW Simpsons! ::proceeds to show
RERUN of Treehouse of Horror XIII::
FOX NETWORK: Mwah-ha-ha Jasmine! You silly, gullible little
fool, we tricked you into tuning in to unnecessary
programming you typically would have painted
through! Don't you know that we can legally call any
episode made in the past 14 years a "NEW" episode?
We've now forced endless amounts of loud, noisy
commercials on you, and gotten your hopes up high,
just to show you a rerun of an episode you've already
taped and watched a dozen times already.
JASMINE: Damnnit... I'm all by myself. Who can I bitch to? Oh
yes... my Livejournal...