||[Nov. 5th, 2002|09:32 pm]
i'm a habitual cyber-stalker. for nobody in particular. i think it is probably some sort of obsessive disorder - i don't know. perhaps i should clarify:
example: i find out someone's email address. anybody's really. (it may be someone who forced a business card on me back when i was a waitress. it could be a minor celebrity whose ISP i uncovered sifting through website domain name lookups. or some idiot i used to go to highschool with.) i use ridiculous methods. i think of screen names or online monikers they might go by and try them out, one by one. i then search the email address infinitely through search engines and assorted databases. i find bulletin boards they posted to in 1996. i look at what they've bid on on eBay. if they have aol, i monitor them in chatrooms. i find it endlessly entertaining. like all of this useless information i dig up gives me the upper hand or something.
NOTE: i really haven't done this with anyone reading this livejournal - i can respect people's privacy when i feel like it =)
i suppose it is a very non-confrontational way to find things out about people. i don't have any (non-internet) friends who aren't related to me. how weird is that? i've never been big on having friends really. i don't think. i think i used to want friends, back when i was a little girl, but i got snubbed a lot for being weird, or smart, or poor, or crazy, or whatever. i had a couple of friends in high school, but i kinda think that they were all better friends with each other than they were with me. most of the people i hung out with seemed to do it out of a sense of obligation, and i think i made them uncomfortable. eventually people just go away. maybe i made it a point to make people uncomfortable - that sounds like something i'd do.
luckily i met matt online and he was very persistent about meeting me in person, otherwise i'd probably be friendless and single.
i'm too introspective today. i was just thinking about my schedule - matt works all the time. i don't drive. i don't like cold weather, so i don't go outside - not even to check the mailbox. on mondays during the daytime, matt is at home and he takes me to the post office. on wednesday evenings, matt doesn't work and we go to my sister kachina's house. matt's other partial day off is thursdays (during the daytimes) when we go to the post office. occasionally i will do something with my mom or dad on sundays. after that, i do the post-office-on-monday-kachina's-on-wednesday-post-office-on-thursday thing again. fortunately, going to kachina's house is one of my favourite things in the world to do. unfortunately, going to the post office is my least favourite thing to do.
i'm really not complaining, though it may sound like it. i'm not even depressed. i like not having to work, or go to school. after i move to florida i'll probably do more stuff. for one thing, celebration is built for pedestrians, so i can walk places. like the post office, lol. it will be nice outside - warm at least. but i won't get to go to kachina's house as much. that makes me depressed. i plan to fly back to kansas city as much as i can. since i don't have a job, i can do that whenever i like. of course, matt will have to work, but he said it honestly wouldn't bother him if i visited my family without him. i also plan to fly people down to visit me a lot. but i know that my sisters have lives of their own. amber will be married in the spring, and i've been hearing kachina planning for a baby sometime in the not-too-distant future. maybe if they see how nice i have it down in florida (assuming i do have it nice down in florida) they'll think of migrating themselves - lol, hope springs eternal.
man, i don't want to check my email. i haven't looked at my inbox since this morning, and the little aol window that version 8.0 has shows that i have 52 new messages. everybody wants me do commissions for them, all by christmas, and that just isn't going to happen. i've got my work pretty much cut out for me for the next two months - i'll have to tell any new people that i can't do paintings for them until after the holidays.
i SEVERELY need to update my website. i have TONS of new prints and stuff. it just takes me SO LONG to do the code for all the new items - i always dread it. maybe i'll do that tomorrow before i go to kachina's house.